Tag Archives: life

Wounds and Betrayals…

Immobile I stand

Midst nowhere

This is exactly where I am

Left wounded

But the silence continues to prevailAAEAAQAAAAAAAALBAAAAJGJmOTQ3ZGMwLWQxMzctNGI5MC1hNTRiLTBkNzBjYzE0OGNhOQ

And the poor aching persists…

I don’t care you still love me or not
I don’t care what you feel about me
I am not afraid to walk alone
because I have been hurt for so long
that nothing affects me now.
I don’t need your ardor anymore
for it’s all so fake.
I believed you loved me
but those were mere pretending.
The thought that you might leave
made my bones shiver
but now it doesn’t even matter
for I have seen the worst.
Your words no more touch my heart
for they are all false.
I curse my own self
for all the times I wept for you
because you never deserved it all.
Your name strikes my mind
and its all hatred I am filled with
I thought you were the one
till I was kept in curtains.
You said you’ll never leave
you said you’ll stand through all
and I believed…

I believed in your feigning
and so, I now stand betrayed!!!

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Perfectly Flawed Choices?

There are times in your life when you can’t help but ask yourself, what am I doing here? Is this right? Have I chosen correctly? Is this correct path? And even though how many times you’ve asked yourself, or even how many times you’ve gone through your best and worst what-if scenarios, you still do not know the answer.

Has it ever happened with you that you realize you have come too far down the road to go back? Sometimes we are at that juncture when just one decision lays the foundation for the rest of our life. Almost all of us face this situation when we have to choose between the love of our life and the person we are supposed to go with. Looking at the thousand faces of your loved ones you decide to preserve the smile and part away with yours. Life doesn’t give second chances, at least not to many of us. So, no matter how much you long to go back to the beginning and alter your decision, you simply can’t.

Let me tell you something, it’s only you, who will live as an incomplete person for the rest of your life pretending that nothing ever went wrong, regretting the decision every single day of your life. Had you just stepped back and declared your love! What worst could have happened, they wouldn’t have accepted, but at least you tried. Unspoken feelings hurt the most. You love someone, go say, irrespective of the fact that you will hear it in return or not. Else you are buying for yourself hollowness, loneliness and regrets at a remarkably heavy price.

Life is all about the choices that you make and how you abide by them. Learn to choose the right thing even if it demands standing against everyone around. In the end it’s all about our hearts and who they beat for. Look around, there is that one person who is as gorgeously flawed as you are and that’s the missing puzzle block you have been searching for.  Don’t let him/her go because none can fill that space that perfect. Real happiness doesn’t come from more money, a big house or a hot girlfriend/ dashing boyfriend, it comes when you know you are living this moment of your life exactly as you always wanted. It comes when you do what you are passionate about, when you are with someone who makes you feel alike, with whom there are no secrets, no complications. All of us, at one point of time get tired of getting up each day to prove ourselves to someone or the other. All we want is that someone who accepts us just the way we are. It’s all about just a handful of choices that make a person incomplete or accomplished. Choose wisely!And remember you are your choices!!!

A pair of almond eyes!

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Each raindrop that hits the window glass, it fills up the room with a sudden melancholy. Here I am, silent, trying to hear what the noises are about. People say love strikes you like lightening, a sudden wave rushes down your spine, ecstasy fills the air you breathe and you go singing all day long. Falling in love is like a fairy tale coming true. Each moment you wish that person to be right next to you. She is the first thought in the morning, the smile that persists on your lips and the last kiss of the night. She is a lifetime with a happy ending.Yet I’m trying to figure out the essence of everything, her innocence is what troubles me the most. He first saw her on a moon light. Soon a foreign emotion clouds his eyes…

He ‘was welcomed with her eyes

He gazed at her so much,

Her beauteous brown almond eyes

Made him melt…

He said it will work out,

Though she had her doubts.

He climbed inside her skin

And made all the promises

He made castles beside the sea

Little did she know those castles were of mud.

He didn’t leave till she said yes.

The sands of time slipped by,

She fell in love the day he fell out of it….

 

All the promises he made

Stood like a double headed sword

Ripping her mind and soul apart

Demons stole her breaths, she survived.

Denials pounded through her mind,

Emptiness echoed through her heart

Moments were filled with pain

She still fell for him every morning.

 

Time flew,wedding bells ringing.

She kept the vows. She knew what it meant to say  “yes”.

When they said ‘Love is what that binds you both’,

She wondered was that ‘love’ that suffocated her?

He bent down to slide the ring in her finger. He smiled.

He was cold as ice,

She couldn’t find love in his eyes.

Darkness covering her like a blanket

Gliding deep in to her thoughts,

Yet she smiled back.

Both carried the weight of the ring forever

With no fairy tale ending…

 

 

 

 

.

Contemplate

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Letting the wind touch my soul

Standing on the edge of shore

Beginning to contemplate reasons

Will my children tell tales of my love and adventures?

Or

Will those tales bring tears?

Stories and fables of wasted potential…

My life

Spins uncontrollably

I’m broken half of someone handsome

I’m the wet shining sand that he sinks his toes in to

I’m the one he tosses aside from shore to shore

I’ll drift through oceans to cling to him like dust

He will carry bits of me to every end of earth

Even when he didn’t wish to

In reality

I must’ve been a fool

To kill myself to get back at him

Was it a life worth living?

Or a

Life worth forgetting?

Butterfly-Free

butterfly-wallpaper-09

Blanket the newborn

No longer a chrysalis

It has flown to another land

Lost to time and space

Embrace the change…

 

Heart flutters

Wings dragging,

Tethered

Like a deer in trap;

Amongst the flowers,

And above the oceans

 

Another butterfly gets his wings

Takes refuge in the sky

 

He is like him

I can feel it

We touch but we do not embrace

Our eyes lock but we do not gaze.

Though it smells like love

All I feel is pseudo love

The abandon cocoon of love

 

If I could transform my pains

If I was him rather than the cocoon

I want to fly high

Butterfly free

And let my colors explode

Wild Thoughts! #1

There is always a crashing point or threshold, initially it was difficult taking me out of wreck, but now I write.. As I write with my half chewed pencil in this lonely night, my heart thumping..  I never thought I will write so much in two weeks.. It’s like a way of cleaning up. Writing has always given me a sense of satisfaction..It is like a drug I can’t live without.

(I’m not bragging. Just stating a fact)

I know my thoughts are wilder than my dreams. Getting lost in the wild has its own benefits. It’s something you don’t get by sitting in room and watching television, it’s nothing but EXPERIENCE. And here comes my questions: P

I always wondered how mirage’s can fool me again and again every single time. How can my eyes, my intellect be wrong? And you know what is worse than that?

I used to feel everyone are unique but the more closely I scan meticulously the more similarities are disclosed. May be everyone are different in the way they think, the things they do and stuff. But deep inside everyone are amazingly talented actors, their versatility reflects from the fact that they change roles ever single minute and every single seconds. And People’s love for romance, humor, love and sadness are immense. Fooling one another and faking the love is their favorite past time.

I wonder what the world is… I always wanted to ditch the pretenses that we live in and I don’t get why the world wants us to conform to its norm. Why not abandon the fakeness and toxicities behind? Why can’t people set aside their prejudices and listen?

Ultimately, we’re all snowflakes-different yet the same 😀

So everyone,”Set your hair free allowing its lock hit you..Lay down barefoot on grass.. soaking in peace…”

Now this is enough, because my extremely valuable thoughts are losing track again and again…

Urgh! My Wild Thoughts are on the Loose!!!

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Glowing Embers

lonely_winter__s_day_by_arminx2-d37s945

Cold and shivering

Scared of life

You left me alone in shivering winter

With a broken soul

The air is stale

I stay captivated by the echoes of silence

I gleefully wander the infinite path,

Leaving memories in burning flames

Ashes to ashes

My whole life has turned to embers

Lying beneath the star lit sky,

Cradled by earth

Upon a barren ground

I’m never content

With life’s endless drama

Always wanting more…

Her Illusions

As she walk in that lonely path

Passing through the endless crowd

She met two eyes

It was different from those all,

who walked past her

They stood there gazing each other

And the whole crowd stopped moving

Is this love?

She’s still dreaming

She’s probably going crazy

She closed her eyes

She can feel that their world

 growing bigger and bigger

When he reciprocate her feelings

She can feel the rain drops

dripping in her stomach

He showered her

with endless memories

Time flew away

She didn’t know when

Truth becomes lies

And promises becomes words…

He walked away

And their love become her only regret

She sits back and feels as if

Their moments have been fading away

And their worlds has been collapsing

Right in front of them

Even without his presence

They are grabbing away her life

How many illusions she has to pass before reaching him?

Sometimes she feel like letting it go

But then he stands right before her eyes

And making her realize

That they weren’t illusions

One day these walls

 Will crumble

One day the door

Will swing wide open

And when the day comes

Remember he is meant to fly higher,

And he will fly back towards her

no one can take that away…

Pain

I know you won’t stay

I know you’re tired

But tears of hope

Filled my heart

Longing you to stay

I want to say those words

You are longing to hear

But these scars in heart

They won’t seem to heal

The pains you made

Are overwhelmingly clear

I get broken a thousand times

And still you didn’t seem to hear

I have spend endless nights

Reminiscing your smile

I tried to clear the mess

All my efforts went useless

I know it’s difficult to live without you

But letting you was the only option left

I think.. I Over think!

Is it bad to think too much about something? People advise me not to think much , just have fun and enjoy the moment. I think I over think. I most certainly do.

What if Cinderella didn’t fall in love with her Prince charming?

What if people start thinking that it’s the inside beauty that matters?

What if Snow white didn’t eat the poison apple and let the old woman have a bite first?

What if Sleeping beauty didn’t touch the spindle?

What if all the money in the world is distributed equally among the world?

What if you’re never born? What if your Mr. Perfect never jumps off the cliff for you?

When I text someone What if he didn’t reply me?

What if he didn’t find me as interesting as her?

All this what-if’s made my day today 🙂 And Finally

What if you didn’t like this post ?:P

Unfinished Dreams

“What happens  when thoughts and  emotions meet?”

She’s told to stay strong, keep fighting

But they don’t understand

She’s already lost.

When he left to fight for King

She had no choice to stop him

When he returned

It wasn’t him

It was a shell he used to be.

She’s counting all the time away

Just waiting for everything to end

Forever seems like a long time

I’m unsure what the reason is

I turn around but I can’t seem to let go

What is reality?

And what is dream?

She looks in the mirror

And burst in to tears

His voice pounding in her ears

Empty and lost in life

Sometimes I wonder

If there is someone else out there

Like her.

They say open your eyes

She’s forced to see the darkness

He doesn’t hear her

The darkness shuts out everything.

Come back..

As I grow old

All I hear is a lonely song…

I know he is out there for me

I wish if he could hold me like before

We had our inhibitions in becoming friends

I guess it’s true what they say

how “just friends” never works out the way

But little did I know that our bond is breaking

And soon we are going to grew apart.

All those happy times are gone

And I know life is about moving on

Yet my heart fails to understand it

You were everything I’ve ever needed

I didn’t mean to hurt you

I swear I have nothing to do with this tangled mess

How does ignoring me possibly do you good?

At what point you will stop trying to be better and admit the truth?

If my feelings are irritating I think you’ve misunderstood.

The more you deny the more I seek your presence

People tell me that I’m wrong for falling in love with you

Trust me I have tried so hard to keep you out of my heart

Now I’m ready to get settled for anything you give

Tell me whether you can be happy without me

I can clearly see the loss in your gleaming eyes too

Don’t you dare say that I’m something that you don’t deserve

Because you had your chance for this but you said nothing at all…

Even when this relationship has gone cold

I can clearly hear your voice

And I miss the way you never looked at me.

Now I’m certain that you didn’t mean a thing because

Every time you said you are addicted with me

It was just the whispers of a cheesy play boy

I still remember the day you walked away

It’s because I was thinking you’d look back at me

It’s not that you abandoned me hurt me the most

It’s the thought and memories that you left behind

I tried to paint my heart without scrapping out your memory

I knew missing someone was a kind of pain

But I never knew what it felt like when someone wouldn’t do the same

I swear I tried my best when you left

But I’m tired of pretending that I’m just fine

Your presence still on my skin

It slice through my heart

I don’t want this feeling

I’m haunted by your smile

You are living in my eyes with that goodbye

Please make it go away

Remember the time when you took me out?

Remember the time you held my hands?

Remember the time we shared endless laughs?

Remember the days we fought badly?

So many memories and I just have to ask

Do you remember it all just like that?

Did you enjoy like the way I do?

I have already choked the last tears that will ever come

People look at me and think I’m mad

That’s because they don’t know you like the way I do

I hope you regret on the goodbye you chose to keep

I hope it floats on your head while you’re trying to sleep

I want to speak until you love me

And then leave because that’s what you did

Don’t you dare say me that you wanted to stay

And try to make me believe that I’m something you’ll miss

Like all the normal people I wanted a closure

A closure that I deserve for loving you so much

I want you to know that I’ll be fine

I want you to know that I don’t need your time

I want you to know that I’m not weak

I want you to know that falling out is not easy as falling in

I want you to know that when you say hello I hear baby

I want you to know that when you say no I hear maybe we can

I want you to know that that one thing

I’d like to see is a promise that at least you’ll remember me

Why am I the only one to hear your voices?

Why am I the only one to see your eyes on the stranger?

Why am I missing you when I clearly know that you don’t miss me?

Why should I miss “us” when you never wanted an “us”?

It’s true that love is blind.

The only regret that I’ve is

I should’ve stolen a kiss on that last night

I should’ve given you a reason to fight

I should’ve done something to made you stay

And I guess here was your reason this whole time

How I loved you enough to let go to chase your dreams and not fight.

I hope the seasons fly past me

So fast for me to cope up with this

 the grit and endless hope…