Category Archives: Thoughts

Perfectly Flawed Choices?

There are times in your life when you can’t help but ask yourself, what am I doing here? Is this right? Have I chosen correctly? Is this correct path? And even though how many times you’ve asked yourself, or even how many times you’ve gone through your best and worst what-if scenarios, you still do not know the answer.

Has it ever happened with you that you realize you have come too far down the road to go back? Sometimes we are at that juncture when just one decision lays the foundation for the rest of our life. Almost all of us face this situation when we have to choose between the love of our life and the person we are supposed to go with. Looking at the thousand faces of your loved ones you decide to preserve the smile and part away with yours. Life doesn’t give second chances, at least not to many of us. So, no matter how much you long to go back to the beginning and alter your decision, you simply can’t.

Let me tell you something, it’s only you, who will live as an incomplete person for the rest of your life pretending that nothing ever went wrong, regretting the decision every single day of your life. Had you just stepped back and declared your love! What worst could have happened, they wouldn’t have accepted, but at least you tried. Unspoken feelings hurt the most. You love someone, go say, irrespective of the fact that you will hear it in return or not. Else you are buying for yourself hollowness, loneliness and regrets at a remarkably heavy price.

Life is all about the choices that you make and how you abide by them. Learn to choose the right thing even if it demands standing against everyone around. In the end it’s all about our hearts and who they beat for. Look around, there is that one person who is as gorgeously flawed as you are and that’s the missing puzzle block you have been searching for.  Don’t let him/her go because none can fill that space that perfect. Real happiness doesn’t come from more money, a big house or a hot girlfriend/ dashing boyfriend, it comes when you know you are living this moment of your life exactly as you always wanted. It comes when you do what you are passionate about, when you are with someone who makes you feel alike, with whom there are no secrets, no complications. All of us, at one point of time get tired of getting up each day to prove ourselves to someone or the other. All we want is that someone who accepts us just the way we are. It’s all about just a handful of choices that make a person incomplete or accomplished. Choose wisely!And remember you are your choices!!!

Advertisements

Nothingness…

3256834909e29a63ec267b5d9daa07ab

I
should have told
you how I really feel
A little in advance….

Had I been living a daydream?
Was the past a fairy tale and the
Present a hard truth?
My heart is left in pieces
The fogs are finally lifted; But
The destiny remains unchanged.
I still stay far
From surrendering…
Time changes nothing at all
I miss you the same as the day you left

I miss you in the summer warmth, in the
Blowing winds that touch my cheeks,
Your memories come rushing by

Every time I pass the bench we sat on
Over and over again, swallowing me each day…

I hate that you left
Without hearing the words
That I needed you to
The words left unsaid

The expectations unfulfilled,
I’m struggling to hold to nothingness.
There are times
When you sneak out of my mind
And roll down my cheeks
When I know all I want is you
Now all I do is wait for another life
Where I wouldn’t know you at all,
Where I wouldn’t struggle to forget you
Loving you is a heartache that never goes away.

I missed you yesterday and the day before
and I know I will do that tomorrow too.

Every time we have to say goodbye
I’m counting down until we say hello

I never had something that I
Can’t walk away from
When it comes to you, no, I
ain’t got no patience…
But if there is somebody that
Makes you feel perfect
The way I’ve been lacking
Then do what you have to
because I’d never blame you

For not choosing me…

A pair of almond eyes!

images

Each raindrop that hits the window glass, it fills up the room with a sudden melancholy. Here I am, silent, trying to hear what the noises are about. People say love strikes you like lightening, a sudden wave rushes down your spine, ecstasy fills the air you breathe and you go singing all day long. Falling in love is like a fairy tale coming true. Each moment you wish that person to be right next to you. She is the first thought in the morning, the smile that persists on your lips and the last kiss of the night. She is a lifetime with a happy ending.Yet I’m trying to figure out the essence of everything, her innocence is what troubles me the most. He first saw her on a moon light. Soon a foreign emotion clouds his eyes…

He ‘was welcomed with her eyes

He gazed at her so much,

Her beauteous brown almond eyes

Made him melt…

He said it will work out,

Though she had her doubts.

He climbed inside her skin

And made all the promises

He made castles beside the sea

Little did she know those castles were of mud.

He didn’t leave till she said yes.

The sands of time slipped by,

She fell in love the day he fell out of it….

 

All the promises he made

Stood like a double headed sword

Ripping her mind and soul apart

Demons stole her breaths, she survived.

Denials pounded through her mind,

Emptiness echoed through her heart

Moments were filled with pain

She still fell for him every morning.

 

Time flew,wedding bells ringing.

She kept the vows. She knew what it meant to say  “yes”.

When they said ‘Love is what that binds you both’,

She wondered was that ‘love’ that suffocated her?

He bent down to slide the ring in her finger. He smiled.

He was cold as ice,

She couldn’t find love in his eyes.

Darkness covering her like a blanket

Gliding deep in to her thoughts,

Yet she smiled back.

Both carried the weight of the ring forever

With no fairy tale ending…

 

 

 

 

.

Moments…

images (1)

“Welcome to the real world, it sucks! You gonna love it”… I cannot help but remember this famous dialogue from the F.R.I.E.N.D.S tv series when Rachel is all set to be independent.

Every now and then we run out of feeling something for the first time. You wait for quite a time for precious things to happen- may be getting a job, outing with friends, confessing your love, speaking before the crowd, dancing on stage, holding hands or the first kiss….We have a preconceived idea about how it’s going to be and how we will react to it….It happens just the same, all of it, but you know it’s just in a split of second it’s all gone…The BEST MOMENTS… And it’ll remains as memories for life time!

Moments, they don’t last in time frames; it’s just our mind contemplating over and over. That’s the thing about growing up. We are coming down the list of the first time magical incidents happen to us. The sad part is we just have a handful of them and the second time doesn’t feel the same way.  Most of the times we don’t even realize it’s happening to us. Long after when it’s gone, we come to believe that was something special. I know, it’s the worst part 😦

Moments, long gone and dead, they have the ability to trigger in you the lost love, the futile excitement or the capabilities you once had.  Keeping up with the pace of life, we usually forget the essence of our being, the person we used to be, the things that make us happy or the goal of our lives. Life keeps rushing with bundles of happy moments lying on the sideways; it’s for you to open it.

Allow yourself to feel love, keep the windows to your heart open, celebrate success after a project, have someone you can say ‘I love you’ to, dance in the pouring rain, have 2am talks, send flowers to your beloved sitting miles across, watch the sunrise above the sea. It is in these tiny moments life exists.

When you turn 60, you would sit on the armchair with watery eyes, thinking about each tiny atom that made you. Nobody has it all right, nobody has everything to smile at, and we do have painful memories, a lot… But those difficult moments that you survived are the stories that stars sing to the world, these are the ones world knows you by, they make who you are today.

Live life by moments not by ages… Make stories that your grandchildren would love listening; make you own life worth watching.

As I embark my journey, these thoughts are going to help me in the long run to accept the fact that each day of life is a dynamic development and this determination will help me create wonders wherever I go. I still remember the day 4 yrs back, I entered college, away from home. Similar kind of fear, happiness and anxiety, it feels almost the same but the difference is that I am more optimistic, mature and have faith in myself. In spite of being aware of the fact that this journey is going to be bumpy, I’m ready to take the challenges that stop by.

All set for a new journey..

Here, I say Au revoir to the past and bonjour to a new start…

Stay Happy 🙂 😀 and remember the best moments are captured in blurred pictures….. ❤

 

Wild Thoughts! #1

There is always a crashing point or threshold, initially it was difficult taking me out of wreck, but now I write.. As I write with my half chewed pencil in this lonely night, my heart thumping..  I never thought I will write so much in two weeks.. It’s like a way of cleaning up. Writing has always given me a sense of satisfaction..It is like a drug I can’t live without.

(I’m not bragging. Just stating a fact)

I know my thoughts are wilder than my dreams. Getting lost in the wild has its own benefits. It’s something you don’t get by sitting in room and watching television, it’s nothing but EXPERIENCE. And here comes my questions: P

I always wondered how mirage’s can fool me again and again every single time. How can my eyes, my intellect be wrong? And you know what is worse than that?

I used to feel everyone are unique but the more closely I scan meticulously the more similarities are disclosed. May be everyone are different in the way they think, the things they do and stuff. But deep inside everyone are amazingly talented actors, their versatility reflects from the fact that they change roles ever single minute and every single seconds. And People’s love for romance, humor, love and sadness are immense. Fooling one another and faking the love is their favorite past time.

I wonder what the world is… I always wanted to ditch the pretenses that we live in and I don’t get why the world wants us to conform to its norm. Why not abandon the fakeness and toxicities behind? Why can’t people set aside their prejudices and listen?

Ultimately, we’re all snowflakes-different yet the same 😀

So everyone,”Set your hair free allowing its lock hit you..Lay down barefoot on grass.. soaking in peace…”

Now this is enough, because my extremely valuable thoughts are losing track again and again…

Urgh! My Wild Thoughts are on the Loose!!!

web-picture-1

I think.. I Over think!

Is it bad to think too much about something? People advise me not to think much , just have fun and enjoy the moment. I think I over think. I most certainly do.

What if Cinderella didn’t fall in love with her Prince charming?

What if people start thinking that it’s the inside beauty that matters?

What if Snow white didn’t eat the poison apple and let the old woman have a bite first?

What if Sleeping beauty didn’t touch the spindle?

What if all the money in the world is distributed equally among the world?

What if you’re never born? What if your Mr. Perfect never jumps off the cliff for you?

When I text someone What if he didn’t reply me?

What if he didn’t find me as interesting as her?

All this what-if’s made my day today 🙂 And Finally

What if you didn’t like this post ?:P

Come back..

As I grow old

All I hear is a lonely song…

I know he is out there for me

I wish if he could hold me like before

We had our inhibitions in becoming friends

I guess it’s true what they say

how “just friends” never works out the way

But little did I know that our bond is breaking

And soon we are going to grew apart.

All those happy times are gone

And I know life is about moving on

Yet my heart fails to understand it

You were everything I’ve ever needed

I didn’t mean to hurt you

I swear I have nothing to do with this tangled mess

How does ignoring me possibly do you good?

At what point you will stop trying to be better and admit the truth?

If my feelings are irritating I think you’ve misunderstood.

The more you deny the more I seek your presence

People tell me that I’m wrong for falling in love with you

Trust me I have tried so hard to keep you out of my heart

Now I’m ready to get settled for anything you give

Tell me whether you can be happy without me

I can clearly see the loss in your gleaming eyes too

Don’t you dare say that I’m something that you don’t deserve

Because you had your chance for this but you said nothing at all…

Even when this relationship has gone cold

I can clearly hear your voice

And I miss the way you never looked at me.

Now I’m certain that you didn’t mean a thing because

Every time you said you are addicted with me

It was just the whispers of a cheesy play boy

I still remember the day you walked away

It’s because I was thinking you’d look back at me

It’s not that you abandoned me hurt me the most

It’s the thought and memories that you left behind

I tried to paint my heart without scrapping out your memory

I knew missing someone was a kind of pain

But I never knew what it felt like when someone wouldn’t do the same

I swear I tried my best when you left

But I’m tired of pretending that I’m just fine

Your presence still on my skin

It slice through my heart

I don’t want this feeling

I’m haunted by your smile

You are living in my eyes with that goodbye

Please make it go away

Remember the time when you took me out?

Remember the time you held my hands?

Remember the time we shared endless laughs?

Remember the days we fought badly?

So many memories and I just have to ask

Do you remember it all just like that?

Did you enjoy like the way I do?

I have already choked the last tears that will ever come

People look at me and think I’m mad

That’s because they don’t know you like the way I do

I hope you regret on the goodbye you chose to keep

I hope it floats on your head while you’re trying to sleep

I want to speak until you love me

And then leave because that’s what you did

Don’t you dare say me that you wanted to stay

And try to make me believe that I’m something you’ll miss

Like all the normal people I wanted a closure

A closure that I deserve for loving you so much

I want you to know that I’ll be fine

I want you to know that I don’t need your time

I want you to know that I’m not weak

I want you to know that falling out is not easy as falling in

I want you to know that when you say hello I hear baby

I want you to know that when you say no I hear maybe we can

I want you to know that that one thing

I’d like to see is a promise that at least you’ll remember me

Why am I the only one to hear your voices?

Why am I the only one to see your eyes on the stranger?

Why am I missing you when I clearly know that you don’t miss me?

Why should I miss “us” when you never wanted an “us”?

It’s true that love is blind.

The only regret that I’ve is

I should’ve stolen a kiss on that last night

I should’ve given you a reason to fight

I should’ve done something to made you stay

And I guess here was your reason this whole time

How I loved you enough to let go to chase your dreams and not fight.

I hope the seasons fly past me

So fast for me to cope up with this

 the grit and endless hope…

 

 

If we were a movie…

“Sometimes the only way to catch an uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring”

Yes, I’m a hopeless romantic teenage girl.

I grew up thinking that my love life will be magical, something out of ordinary.

I should blame it on the Indian cinemas. That entire Bollywood chick flick’s which I have seen thousand times again and again which forced me to believe in the whole prince charming concept and those surreal romances. Those melodic music and advertisements everything made me to fall head over heels. So, you see I was programmed to think, believe and look forward to a super romantic love life ahead. I had pictured me falling in love with a guy in endless Bollywood-Situations and I’ve been planning to repeat every single scene I have seen on-screen with him.

I always believed that my life will be like something I had seen in all those movies, where I meet a guy whom I will hate to death and eventually we will become friends from strangers. And before even I realize we will be in love Or something like meeting a bad boy in college and the perfect me changing him completely to bring the best out of him 😛

A romantic beach proposal enjoying the sunset and I will be the right girl whom he will be spending his whole life with…and and happily ever after…

If we were a movie….

Beach-Proposal